Note: This is Part 1 of the "Not Our News" series. The events and feelings depicted actually occurred a few weeks ago but could not be shared publicly for obvious reasons. Also, the people involved gave me permission to share.
One Day Before the News
Thank You for the beautiful sunshine today. Thank You for waking us up and having new mercies for today.
Lord, I find myself entirely focused on a fear of something possible, but unknown. D (my husband's sister) asked via text if we would video chat with her and her husband tomorrow. My heart sank instantly, and I have a strong feeling that they will announce pregnancy. And why shouldn't they? They've been married for seven months. They aren't in school. If we weren't related or close to them, we would advise them not to wait because they don't even know if they can conceive.
It's different when it's family. C is the oldest. We have been married for five years longer than them. We planned to bring the first grandchild into the S family. The reasons are selfish, but I don't feel ready to graciously receive their news. If that is why they want to talk, please give us grace to receive it well. Help us to be transparent about the mixture of emotions the news would bring, and may they be transparent, too. May infertility not be a distance-causer, but a bonding experience. Please help us. Please be sanctifying us through the process; may the suffering not be wasted, but may we be refined.
Lord, I plead with You; please bless us with a child soon. May we not be one of those couples dealing with infertility for five to ten years. If adoption is our route, please get us there quickly. Help us say and mean, "Not our will, but Yours be done."
In Jesus' Name,