Our plans have changed dramatically in the last few weeks. I am still working to wrap my mind around everything, which is why I haven't shared the change on the blog until today. Our families have been very supportive throughout our journey, so we wanted to let them know first. Here is the email we sent:
Our lives have taken a turn, and we want to bring you up to speed. For various reasons, we have decided to stop infertility testing and treatments for the foreseeable future. We will not be doing another round of Clomid after all. Instead, we are going to take the summer to focus on our new house. In September, we plan to begin the adoption process.
After more than three years of trying to conceive, this change feels very strange. Davy feels that infertility has been a factor in every decision she has made, from what to eat, to how to sit, to what soap to use. Freedom from the bondage of infertility seems very foreign. We are trying to come to grips with the untidiness of this decision. While testing has come to an end, the possibility of pregnancy will be there indefinitely. Some people go on birth control when they stop infertility treatments. We are starting to see why. Birth control is exactly that: control. We are surrendering (or attempting to surrender) control. God could choose to bless us with a surprise, but we will not be planning on that possibility.
This fall, we plan to take steps toward infant adoption. In an effort to truly take the summer off from family “planning” (as if planning is all it takes), we are not doing a lot of research or preparation yet. We have a local agency in mind, but will need to have certain questions answered before making a final decision.
You have all been so supportive in our journey. We are thankful and feel very blessed. If you would like to come alongside us and learn more, please consider reading the book Adopted for Life, by Russell Moore. The author and his wife have walked through infertility, adoption, and eventually had biological children. The book includes information for couples like us and for people who know couples like us (that’s you).
Please note that this decision does not have to be permanent. As many people remind us, we are still young(ish). If we wanted to pursue more treatment in several years, we could. For now, we plan to pursue adoption. We believe that God has a family planned for us, and we are excited to see who He places in our family and how. It’s exciting. Please be excited with us and please pray with us.
We love you all.
C and Davy
So there you have it. We are taking the summer off and then plan to pursue adoption. The ramifications are complex, so I will post more thoughts soon. If you have any questions, please leave them below. I will try to address them in a future post. Thank you for the support and encouragement.