You may have noticed that things have been a little intense around our house lately. I went to the doctor a few weeks ago about some strange symptoms, such as numbness and tingling in my arm and leg. I had thought the issue could be from lifting two boys. She suggested that the symptoms were more likely caused by anxiety. Being skeptical of the medical profession after getting bounced around in infertility, I stuck with my self-diagnosis.
Yesterday, we received some news that caused conflicting thoughts and emotions to run through my mind. While with the boys, I was too distracted to fall apart. When my husband and the boys dropped me off to drive the other car home, sobs started to erupt. Knowing that I needed to get home to take care of the boys, I pulled into a parking lot and tried to stop crying. My face has a special tendency to turn red all over at the slightest hint of tears, and I didn't want the boys to wonder. Fighting uncontrollable sobs is apparently a bad idea, because I am quite sure the attempt brought on hyperventilation and chest pain. The sobs were going to come anyway, so I should have just let them out. I called my husband, and he dropped the boys off at a friend's house. With numbness and tingling in my arm and foot, I made it home, and we took a little while to calm down and discuss the news together before picking the boys up.
So now I believe my doctor about the anxiety idea. The panic attack, or whatever it was, seemed to be a product of the anxieties that have been piling on over the last several weeks. Changes are coming, and we need to wrap our minds around them and somehow stay alive. My doctor and I had decided massages and exercise would be a good way to start reducing anxiety. If yesterday was any indication, I better get on that ASAP and remind myself of my verses for the week.
This post was linked up on Faith Filled Friday.