Isolated, But Not Alone

I came across this very helpful blog post about infertility by Jeff Cavanaugh. The author expresses thoughts and feelings that we hadn’t yet untangled but had been experiencing. Here are a few points that resonated with us:
  • “My wife and I attend a church full of young families where people seem to have children all the time. Not only does such a church remind infertile couples of their infertility with painful regularity, it can also leave them feeling isolated and alone, out of step with everyone else their age in a different stage of life.”
  • “...Feelings of isolation and alienation are real. Friends in the church have seemed thoughtless at times, not considering how things they say might be hurtful; at other times they've been awkward, aware of our struggles but at a loss for what to say. Often the strain has been entirely our own fault—we've promised in our church covenant to ‘rejoice at each other's happiness and endeavor with tenderness and sympathy to bear each other's burdens and sorrows,’ but sometimes jealousy and bitterness sap our motivation to do any rejoicing or accept any comfort.”
  • “...Grief and pain that come with infertility can put infertile people in a spiritually dangerous position. While a godly friend might confront someone who's struggling with anger or lust, few people with an ounce of compassion would dare to confront a fellow Christian over the sins infertility can give rise to—anger, discontent, jealousy, bitterness, and idolatry among them.”
  • “Sometimes when infertile couples are in the throes of feeling isolated and desperate to be normal, they just need you to be a friend, to remind them that they are normal, that you like them, and that you want to live the Christian life side-by-side with them.”
I will be recommending this article to many people and returning to it myself.

Cavanaugh, Jeff. "How the Church Makes the Trial of Infertility Better (or Worse)."The Gospel Coalition Blog. The Gospel Coalition, 26 Dec. 2013. Web. 26 Dec. 2013. <>.