Burden or Blessing?

I recently came across Jillian's story. Jillian and her husband walked through infertility to international adoption, and then back into the infertility world. Her story is particularly meaningful to me, because I would not be surprised to follow in her footsteps. While excited to pursue adoption, we may consider further treatments in several years.

On the other hand, I notice a striking difference in our stories. Jillian describes the longing she feels to experience pregnancy. I used to feel that, but the feeling seems to be gone. I find myself very curious about pregnancy and excited for my pregnant friends, but that is all. The change makes me wonder if God had a different plan for me all along. I consider my hatred of needles, my low pain tolerance, and my hesitance about many things pregnancy would require. Maybe God knew that infertility would refine me and that adoption would be better for us. Maybe the burden of infertility was actually a blessing.

While more treatments may be in our future, we are proceeding as if each of our children will be placed in our home through adoption. God's plan is perfect, and He will carry it out. We are trusting Him to lead us and provide for each step of the journey.

Side Note: Thinking about childlessness and infertility can be really heavy sometimes. If you need a pick-me-up, feel free to stop by my other blog for "What A Difference A Towel Makes." The post is about my most recent rookie mistake at the gym.