Taking a Break Means Putting on the Brakes

This is our summer off. We agreed to take the next several months to forget about infertility and adoption, allowing ourselves to be excited about the new house and just live life for a while.

But, I got ahead of myself. In a moment of weakness, I checked the criteria for adoptive families on the website of the agency we planned to use. Uh-oh. The agency has a strict "alcohol, tobacco, and drug free" policy. Two of the three are not a problem, but we do occasionally have alcohol. We believe that alcohol is a good gift from God when used wisely.  Now, we could swear off alcohol until the adoption was final, but that wouldn't be honest. If the agency so clearly disagrees with us on this issue, we would be concerned that they could bump us down on the waiting list. So, we decided to work with a different agency.

Our plan had been to not take any steps toward adoption until September, but that was when we thought the agency was already chosen. So, I started doing research (usually a bad idea for me). Soon I was reading about adoption grants and fundraisers, watching adoption videos, creating spreadsheets, and overwhelming C with thoughts and questions. After a few days of chaos, he was kind enough to reign me in. This was supposed to be our summer off.

We came to a new agreement: I will research adoption agencies, and only adoption agencies, for the next two weeks. At the end of two weeks, I will reveal my agency comparison spreadsheet to C, and we will choose an agency. Then, we will do nothing else adoption-related until September. It's hard for me to even write that. I want to read and research and apply and get approved and bring home a baby tomorrow, or even today. But instead, we will wait. We need this time of rest and recovery after our long season of struggle.

Please pray for us. Pray that we connect with the agency that will lead us to our child. Pray that God helps us truly let go of infertility stress this summer.

Thank you all for the prayers and encouragement.